The movie Iron Man
changed my husband. Ever since he saw
that movie, superheroes became his thing. (Parenthetically, I’d like to complain. You’d think that he’d have a little more
understanding about my Twilight
mania, in light of his Iron Man
mania, but no. One way street, my
friends – quintessential hypocrisy.)
Frank went a little fan-boy over The Avengers this weekend.
He wore his Avengers t-shirt to the show and lamented that I hadn’t worn
a Black Widow leotard. We purchased the
tickets online, in advance, so that we wouldn’t find ourselves sold out. He even made sure to visit the restroom
BEFORE the movie started so that he wouldn’t miss one single second. Honestly, I was just glad to be a part of it
with him, because there’s nothing I love more than to hang with Frank doing
stuff that he loves.
I was excited to see the movie too. I enjoyed each of the Marvel movies leading
up to The Avengers. I liked both Iron Man films. Thor was awesome, aside from the
pedantic romantic melodrama. Chris
Hemsworth is so right for that role, it’s like he was born for it. Captain
America was pitch perfect, considering the historical references required
in its story, and the special effects that made hunky Chris Evans a puny human
were well done. Going into The Avengers, I had not seen an
Incredible Hulk movie but I figured I’d be fine since those movies weren’t
major successes.
I liked The Avengers
a lot. Tony Stark, Iron Man’s alter-ego,
is a walking one-liner and in his presence, the rest of the crew follows
suit. I am still laughing about Iron Man
calling Thor “Shakespeare in the Park.”
And I love Jeremy Renner so I was glad to see him in a big movie. None of the effects looked cheap or cheesy
and there wasn’t much that I’d change about the characters or the plot.
But no movie is perfect.
My 180 take on this mega-blockbuster is twofold. First, what
are you thinking, Motion Picture Association of America, rating The Avengers PG-13? It’s no secret that the plot revolves around
the threat of an alien invasion. When
the aliens invade, they literally crash into people, implying that the
bystanders are killed on impact. Within
seconds, hundreds of people are murdered.
And here I am, sitting in my theater seat next to at least five children
under the age of ten. The Avengers earned its PG-13 tag due to
“intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, and a mild drug
reference.” These red flags make sense
as descriptors of the objectionable content, but a PG-13 rating seemed a little
laissez faire to me.
Secondly, not to be completely melodramatic and take a movie
(entertainment!) to a dark and totally unnecessary place, but as the alien
battle raged on and a nuclear missile was engaged, I couldn’t help but feel a
little terrified for myself and the tiny children around me. Here we are laughing at Hulk smashing New
York City to pieces while what we’re seeing is completely possible. Sure, aliens might not exist and the exact
plot of The Avengers may never happen
to us. But the entire film felt too
immediately relevant. I wonder if anyone
else felt that way? Just like in The Avengers, our reality is governed by
a handful of select people who have access to technology that could kill us ALL
at any given moment. That’s heavy stuff
and every now and then, when I hear the latest headline about Iran or Pakistan,
I stop for a moment to think about the fact that if one powerful person got
really belligerent, everything that I know could be gone. Blink of an eye. World over.
No, I’m sure I’m the only person who thought about the real
life possibilities. I’m a little too
world weary, a little too jaded about international relations. I bet Robert Downey Jr. would punch me for
taking this movie so seriously. But, if
only the Avenger team was real. We could
really use them!
Then again, Frank once told me that I reminded him of the
Incredible Hulk, just that I didn’t have the purple sweatpants. He said that I get all rage-y and turn
green. (By the way, how is it possible that
Mark Ruffalo’s pants still fit him when he went Hulk, but when he landed in a
pile of rubble, human again, he had no pants?
Serious movie gaffe right there.)
So if the Avengers need to unite, I can take over at least one role. Sleep well, citizens. Hulk smash.
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