WAYT: If this is the Rapture, I’ll go willingly!

Once upon a time, I wrote a post slamming Fifty Shades of Grey.  I hadn’t read it then and I still haven’t read it now because my “sexy book” series obsession started with Gabriel’s Inferno. I don’t need a replacement or competition – both of those would be impossible for me. 

Just a month ago, the author Sylvain Reynard came back for a second act in the new book Gabriel’s Rapture.  I’ve gotten TONS of blog hits out of my Fifty Shades tirade, so it can only benefit me to drop kick it again. 

But in all seriousness, I have to ask what are you thinking if you haven’t picked up Gabriel’s Inferno?  I gave my readers a chance to get on this bandwagon with me months ago and now the sequel is catching lots of attention.  Here’s your second chance and a few compelling reasons why you should read Gabriel’s Rapture ASAP. 

1. Smoldering hot guys are IN.  Gabriel, the co-main character in the book, oozes sexuality.  For me, his charms jump off the page.  Whenever he’s seducing Julianne (see point #2), it seems like I’m witnessing it from very close by or experiencing it myself.  Gabriel’s Inferno introduces you to just how smoking Gabriel is, and Gabriel’s Rapture makes him a complete person – a guy with sex appeal for days AND brains, heart and soul.  This only multiplies his smoldering hotness. 

2. Tough chicks are IN.  Julianne, the other co-main character, loves her man and stays true to their commitment when times get tough, but she doesn’t put up with his crap.  She helps him become better and celebrates his goodness.  I love heroines who have experienced suffering, can commiserate with those who suffer and cause suffering without being cruel.  Julianne is that girl who gets it all and never looks back to gloat – which is the kind of girl I long to be.  You know, that whole bit about living well being the best revenge.    

3. Transformative love stories are IN.  In fiction these days, it’s not enough for a fictional man to meet-cute with a fictional woman and fall in love.  Readers want twists and turns and obstacles (that’s why authors are writing more than one book for every story).  Gabriel’s Rapture has ALL of that – it takes you further down the road that was forged in the first book and shakes everything up along the way.  In fact, if you rush through it (because it’s so awesome and you can’t slow down), you’ll have to go back and read it again.  There are clues and hints that help you understand the ending that you can’t appreciate unless you give the book its due.  I think this is the strongest argument why Gabriel’s Rapture is some of the best fiction out there.  It’s so good that you don’t realize how good it is until you’re finished. 

4. Mysterious authors are IN.  I don’t even know if the author’s name is really Sylvain Reynard.  I’ve never seen a picture of the guy.  I don’t know if he’s really a Dante specialist or if he’s just a killer researcher.  (How could a lay-person know Dante that well??)  I kind of suspect he’s my former college professor whose shares the initials SR, which disturbs me more than a little.  I’d hate to know that my professor could write such hot stuff.  Seems wrong… but keeps me guessing!

5. Sexy books are IN.  There used to be a lot of stigma about sexy books.  You know what I’m talking about – those ones with the tawdry cover art that women would hide inside newspapers.  Everyone wants to talk about Fifty Shades but none of its fans can spit out the words to describe it because it’s so far out there, it’s not even polite for discussion.  Honestly, I’ve even heard that some people have to Google the stuff in that book because they don’t understand it!  Ladies, we don’t need all that mess.  We just need passion.  Gabriel’s Rapture is the sort of sexy that I’m comfortable with anyone reading over my shoulder or discussing at the office.  Furthermore, no Googling necessary.  This is the kind of sexy you can live out in your own life without building a special room in your house (weird), and described in a way that makes it the farthest thing from dirty you can imagine.  Speaking of which, did I mention the amazing use of words in these books?  SR uses the most evocative and descriptive language I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot of books in my life!  Truly, second to none. 

6. Book series are IN.  I sort of alluded to this earlier, but there’s a little more to my theory when it comes to Gabriel’s Rapture.  Yes, this is book two but you are all set if you read these two.  So if you’re weary of being roped into another book series or waiting for another book to be released in a year, don’t worry, Gabriel’s Inferno and Gabriel’s Rapture are a complete set.  Only yesterday did the author hint that there may be a third.  If you love the Gabriel series like I do, you might get lucky and get one more book but you won’t have to die waiting for it or be forced to harass the author for more.  The idea is out there and you’ll survive if it never happens – or rejoice if it does. 

The wonderful thing about this book for me, as someone who is constantly on the computer, is that I feel as if I know Sylvain Reynard.  With Facebook, I’m able to comment on his news and sometimes get a response.  Have you ever loved an author so much that he finally learned who you were and you didn’t even have to go all psycho-stalker on him to get that kind of attention?  In case SR reads this love letter to him, I want him to hear this loud and clear: You are one of the most talented authors I have EVER read and I fully appreciate the sweat, labor and love that you poured into these pages!   

Now book lovers everywhere, go out and buy these books!  Hurry!! 

WAYT: Fifty Shades of - wait, no, it's all the same color

Celebrity gossip is one of my “things.”  I love following the lives of celebrities to see what stupid thing they’ve done now.  My mom buys me a subscription to People magazine for my birthday every year and this year I treated myself to a subscription of Entertainment Weekly.  As an avid reader, the annoying thing I’ve found is that these two magazines both feature the same recommended books.  Maybe there are only so many good books that come out every week but for me, the subliminal message is that since two publications both like a particular book, it must be good!  I bought a book based on their recommendations a few weeks ago and it is vile.  Now I’m out $12 and have a crap book in my Nook library that I’ll never read. 

The latest big thing in book news is Fifty Shades of Grey.  It’s even on the cover of my Entertainment Weekly.  I don’t know how many of my readers caught this in my first post, but I’m a HUGE Twilight fan.  I can’t possibly quantify what I mean by HUGE because my obsession is really beyond measure.  I might need a medical diagnosis and some kind of prescription, actually.  This book, Fifty Shades of Grey, is an insult to Twilight and it's really getting on my nerves that it's getting so much attention.

My Twilight obsession led me to the world of Twilight fan fiction a couple years ago.  In this world, talented (and talentless and misguided and brilliant) writers pick up the characters and give them new life.  In fan-fics, Edward and Bella may continue as vampires, they may be re-created as all-human and their lives are sometimes drastically changed.  The basic idea is to use the characters however you want and further indulge in the world of Twilight.  Some stories even choose other minor characters and spin new stories, and some pair Bella with Jacob.  (Oh, no!  No.  Not for me, ever.)

Fifty Shades of Grey was a fan fiction story.  I started to read it back then and quickly went elsewhere.  It wasn’t very compelling to me.  (My favorite fan fiction story was published last year.  It’s titled Gabriel’s Inferno.  Check it out!)  I am begging you to NOT jump on this Fifty Shades of Grey bandwagon because it is so wrong! 

The idea of fan fiction is to keep the story alive.  Anyone who loved Twilight didn’t want to see it all end and fan fiction, a world endorsed by Twilight’s author Stephenie Meyer, gave fans a safe place to spin their tales.  Gabriel’s Inferno, as the fan-fic The University of Edward Masen, was compelling.  The author deeply understood the characters, imagined a complete (as in fully formed) new world for them and took the reader on a new journey. 

Fifty Shades does none of that.  Author EL James kept them in the same place (Washington even), kept nearly every single thing about them the same (except for now they’re all-human) and dropped the characters off in a sexy smut land.  This isn’t far-fetched for fan fiction because fan-fic authors and readers love to explore the places (read: bedrooms) that Twilight didn’t but in Fifty Shades, it wasn’t sexy to me.  It was gross.    

If you’re going to borrow (or pretty much plagiarize) from a book that is so widely read, watch how you use it.  And try not to be so lazy. 

I haven’t read Fifty Shades in its new form except for the content I got as a free sample.  The reason that the sample was enough to turn me away is because the author even adopted the same tone of narrative that made Bella so relatable in Twilight.  For me, Bella’s voice was so genuine to her situation in life.  She was self-deprecating, sometimes immature, naïve, sometimes thoughtless but at all times, in over her head.  So is this girl in Fifty Shades.  It’s annoying that the author didn’t bother to brand any part of her story as her own except for the BDSM.  Within the sample, she introduces her Edward character, Christian Grey, and talks about how gorgeous he is and how he’s magnetic and makes the Bella character, Ana, fumble and fall apart.  Also in the sample, Ana repeatedly says something like, “Holy cow!”  If there’s one thing I remember Bella saying in Twilight, it was “Holy crow!”  Bella was funny like that. 

Sounding familiar?  What are you thinking, EL James?  You’re not fooling me!

I don’t like to take on the fan fiction community because it brought me Gabriel’s Inferno and a few other stories that I truly love (Litany at Dusk, Not Like This, TNGUS, etc.) that I still like to re-visit.  But seeing Fifty Shades in print is beyond infuriating when it’s so derivative.  If I were Stephenie Meyer, I’d say enough is enough.  Cease and desist!